Hot
Girls
Have
Hemorrhoids

This is for the raunchy college girl. The boy-hater who still wants a rich man. The Megan Thee Stallion devotee. The one at the club, three drinks in, who feels it coming and does not, under any circumstance, go home. She takes shits.

She shits on the floor. Her friends are laughing. The men are watching. She is loud, she is proud, she is not secretive about what her body is doing. She is not the clean girl. The clean girl will catch up after her run. This is the girl who is already there.

She takes shits, not poops. Poops are polite. Poops are for people who flush twice. She is blowing up the toilet.She is doing numbers. She is a girl power anthem with a hemorrhoid and a vodka soda.

You are heard. You are seen. You are strong. Even if you are not a girl. Even if you have never had a hemorrhoid in your life. If you push through the bullshit, you are one of us. Keep pushing.